How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
