you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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