And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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