just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Boobs are out for the taking
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Randomize
