I am in a vortex of obligation.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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