Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Randomize
