i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
