I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
why do cheetos always look like penises
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize
