yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
