i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
