remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
