WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
