You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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