glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize