he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
