Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
