fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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