what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
