ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
