Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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