i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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