Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
