it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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