Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
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