I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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