2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize