Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
