I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
