its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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