So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
