i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
