Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
