why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
