I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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