How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
