Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
