I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize