you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
