i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I smell stomach acid.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize