I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
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Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
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