meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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