they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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