i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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