i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I skipped work to stalk him.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
