home. puking in laundry basket.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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