i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
