I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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