"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
