She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
