hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
