Only a mothe r could love this liver
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
