I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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