She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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