i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
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