Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
