so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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