I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
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The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
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We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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