I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Randomize
