First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
