So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
