just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
