at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
